The Islamic Radicalizartion of Donald Trump

We now know when Donald Trump became radicalized and pledged his support to ISIS’s mission of driving a wedge between Muslims and the West. It was widely reported that, on November 6, 2014, the Trump Hotel Collection announced the addition of a beautiful new edifice in Baku, Azerbaijan. Less widely reported was his frantic purchases of Middle Eastern antiquities coupled with a meeting with Fadid Almad al-Hayali in which the ISIS commander agreed to destroy priceless antiquities in order to drive up the prices of those owned by Trump, which (due to Trump’s lack of taste) were not priceless. As part of his pledge of allegiance to ISIS, Trump converted to Islam. Since then he has religiously disappeared from media view five times a day (commercial breaks) to pray.  In a side-letter the Commander granted Trump the exclusive concession to build a gigantic entertainment facility in Raqqa featuring beheadings and young sex slaves of all fifty genders.

Note: this article was fact checked with the thoroughness of pronouncements by Trump, Carson and Cruz.  Moreover, we can say with absolute certainty that Mr. Fadid Almad al-Hayali will not deny any part of the foregoing.